Whirlwinds change your life. Not literal whirlwinds but situations that can mess up your head without warning. Story of my life. I never know how to deal with such situations but when it always arises I have to deal with it. Many people don’t know who I actually am. I don’t think I do either. Many of us stuck in grey because that’s the safest option for us. Stuck in a haven we have made because we fear going across to the unknown, which could go either way. Personally I have found my journey in life quite surreal, like somebody that’s intoxicant all the time, because of my indecisiveness that leads me to dig myself another hole. It turned me into somebody with an avoidance personality, which puts me in a vicious cycle of sabotaging relationships I had with everybody. I just got to accepting it and now I’m trying to move forward, because that’s all a person can do. Given that I’ve faced so many hard things in the past, that is out of the ordinary, I love to give people advice on how they can deal with things, because it’s most likely that I may of gone through a strain of the same root problem.
The thought 2016 hyped a lot of people, because of the ‘new me new goals’ . I never got it before until a week before the new year rolled in. I felt it was time to finally move on with everything I did before. All the mistakes I had made, and all the people that I had cut off would finally be left in the past, but oh God was I proved wrong. It seemed so when it was the 1st of January and even today, where my mistakes keep either being repeated or people of the past are always around. I can’t help but realise I do not understand my emotions, or myself in that matter, so I am hoping that when I start soul searching I’ll find who I really am. I used to think people thought like me, or have the same perception, but that was always flawed as everybody is different, and that I needed to explain to people as to why I was like this, but people would block that with their own arrogance. I USED to find poetry to be my only voice but because of the circumstances and the fact that no one would ever read between the lines, I found that poetry in the world of selfish people was not ideal, especially when they don’t care about you. So, I stay as ever making friendships that are a passing, like the seasons…. while I slowly growing into the adult I was always destined to be.
Another poisonous topic is division. Division has ravaged everything and will continue to do so.In my opinion, greed is the main cause of it. Imagine being told you could own something if you claimed it, or claimed another part of it, knowing you would have total control of everything including wealth. Nationalism has destroyed a lot of people and continues to do so. The same group of people who 100 years ago, only took lineage as something to tell the younger generations,or to make new ties is now used a weapon to perpetuate the ever growing ailment of division. Before you know it, everybody will be afflicted with the nationalism we are taught to believe in, pledging allegiance to a land that won’t bring any benefit to you, but only a sense of identity. So, the same ethnic people continue to be divided over land for nothing other than a name. It has stunted the growth of progress and will continue to do, because people believe pride is better than building something that was once an empire.